Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize