I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
