Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
