I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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