Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
