If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
