nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
