Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
