break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
