The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
