even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize