nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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