You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
