Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
