In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
