remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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