Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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