What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize