would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have aggressive nipples.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
