i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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