If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Sober January is a disaster.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
