Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
