I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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