Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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