I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
