We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize