she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
