People in love make me want to vomit
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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