My balls are so social today.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
