I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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