do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
And then he peed in my hair
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