I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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