Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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