you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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