I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
