I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I believe in your delicious
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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