Sponge bath it is.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize