**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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