I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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