You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
