I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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