You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
