Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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