Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
