I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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