I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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