your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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