Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
