the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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