her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
