is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
