Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
