I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
