i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
