I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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