Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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