Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
