So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
