It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
