There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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