just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
