apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just want to make out with him forever
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
