Its about making memories worth repressing
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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