he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
