yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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