go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
