quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
