i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
