DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
