No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
