Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
