After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
